


You know it all, you're my best friend

by serenesavagery (DivergentElf)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Afterlife, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Dead People, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 12:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18800491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivergentElf/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: Death and life are opposites.Natasha finds that death is just the pain of existing alongside those you love, but can never meet again.At least she finds someone to share that pain with.





	You know it all, you're my best friend

Natasha didn't expect anything after death. 

Maybe the color black. 

Or maybe some suffering, the torment she put hundreds of Innocents to. 

But Natasha finds a horrible truth. 

 

Fire and water are opposites supported by the same thing. Ceaselessly trying to destroy the other, yet somehow existing alongside each other. 

Death and life is the same thing. 

Natasha finds herself in Vormir again. 

 

But everything is darkened somehow. 

As if life was something bright, to be cherished, death sought to be the opposite. 

A melancholic existence, something to be detested. 

Everything was darker than before. 

Natasha wants to scream because she doesn't know what's happening even though she feels like she should. 

Natasha wants to weep, more than anything. 

Was this horror what Thanos meant to inflict on so many innocent people? 

 

Natasha finds she can move. 

But she can't move out of the atmosphere or anything. 

Her limbs have lost all feeling, and she doesn't feel the need to breathe. 

The Red Skull can't see her trying to move out of Vormir. 

Life was ignorance, so was death enlightenment? 

Because Natasha finds herself hyper aware of everything, even more so usual despite the darkness dimming her vision. 

 

Natasha doesn't know how she's going to move out of Vormir. 

She doesn't know what's next. 

And it scares her. 

 

What was she supposed to do now? 

 

She hopes that the others will have defeated Thanos. 

Otherwise... 

The horror that she's going through, unable to do anything, unable to see anything clearly, not knowing what to do... 

Of course, this horror was nothing compared to others in her life. Nothing compared to the agony the others must be feeling, the pressure, the loss they are edged with... 

Natasha wants to ask someone, anyone, what death is all about. 

But as you couldn't talk to the dead when alive, you can't talk to the alive when dead.

 

Natasha doesn't know how time passes when you are dead. 

The star acting as the sun for this planet constantly hovers around, giving her no sense of time. 

 

If Natasha was dead, drifting through space shouldn't mean a thing. 

She closes her eyes, but doesn't feel them closing. 

 

When she opens them to see the darkened sky of Vormir, she finds herself somewhere different. 

The Avengers Tower. 

She sees Tony sitting on a stool, looking despondent. 

Natasha hopes, hopes against hope that Tony isn't- 

"Natasha?"

Natasha closes her eyes in sorrow briefly before walking up to Tony and sitting on the stool next to him. 

"Hey, shellhead." Natasha says softly. 

"How did you get here?" Tony asks, frowning. 

Natasha shrugs. "I don't know." 

She then looks at Tony. "Why?" 

Tony smiles sadly. "Someone else had to. Hey." He says, brightening up a little. 

"We won." 

Natasha blinks, hoping she won't go anywhere this time. 

"We...won?" She asks, finding it in herself to smile. 

"Yep." Tony says, his brown eyes glowing. 

"We won." Natasha says incredulously, smiling before hugging Tony. 

She can't feel him, but she could somehow. 

She can't feel a body. But she could feel happiness. 

That was what counted. 

"We won." Natasha repeats, pulling back and looking at Tony with a wider smile than before. 

Tony laughs. "I think that's the most affectionate you've been with me. Not that I'm complaining." He says, voice soft. 

Natasha shrugs. "Well, you deserved some affection from my side. How did we win?" 

Tony's face gets a little sadder. "I snapped the Infinity Gauntlet. Whooshed away Thanos and the rest of his freaky army. Unfortunately, I couldn't take it." Tony says, his voice staying in a matter of fact tone. 

Natasha widens her eyes, her jaw a little hinged.

Oh. 

Tony Stark had saved their universe. 

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Tony asks, laughing nervously. 

"Oh, Tony." Natasha says, hugging him fully this time. 

"You shouldn't have to. You had Pepper and-" she whispers 

Tony exhales slowly, patting her shoulder.

It is almost as if he doesn't want to hear the names of his children. Morgan. And Peter. 

"You had all of us. You shouldn't have had to sacrifice yourself either, Agent Romanoff." Tony says, and though his voice is light, Natasha can see his eyes trembling through the darkness. 

"Could you.." 

"I can't move anything. I can't show Pepper and Morgan that I can see them. Even a little. That's the worst part of this whole dead thing. Not being-" 

"Able to do anything. Not knowing what to do even if you feel like you should." Natasha finishes. 

They stay like that for a while. 

"Yeah." Tony whispers and Natasha hugs him tighter. 

"I'm glad if I had to die with someone, it's you, Natasha." Tony says, hugging her tighter. 

"I shouldn't be feeling glad you're here." Natasha whispers. 

"You had a family too. Just like me. I'm not the only one who had something to live for." 

Natasha faces Tony's sincere face. "You think so?" 

Tony smiles and the smile of a friend with you, when you thought you were going to be all alone, is the most beautiful thing Natasha has ever seen. 

"I know that, Nat. Even if we can't show our families we are there for them, we know that. I think." 

Natasha laughs softly and Tony laughs with her too. 

The worst part of it was that they couldn't feel the hug. 

The best part of it, was that they knew they kept each other company. 

For now, and for later. 

Death was the beginning of the end. 

But if you had someone with you, that was all right. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very sad. This will be the last Marvel fic from me, and well, Endgame wrecked me, haha. 
> 
> This is not meant for enjoyment. This is meant for the writer to come terms with what happened. 
> 
> I was in the MCU fandom since Homecoming came out. Yeah, it's kind of pathetic of me, but, I grew to love these characters within two years. Endgame did not seem like a good resolution to me for the MCU. 
> 
> I won't go into the details of what I think should be a good resolution, because, each to their own. However, Endgame seems very final to me and I think the Russo Brothers made a good job at how they made sure there will be nothing left. 
> 
> I don't know what will be the future of the MCU. I am also sad about the 3rd Guardians movie, because it will mean there won't be anything left after that, unless of course they decide to be generous, which is statistically and extremely unlikely. I know there are the Doctor Strange, Spiderman, Captain Marvel and Black Panther franchises to look forward to, but I can't bring myself to do as such. I'm very devastated at the fact Tony will never see his children growing up, or cherish a happy family life with Pepper. 
> 
> Tony won't be there, watching from the sidelines. That's what breaks me. 
> 
> I'm also heartbroken that Natasha won't have a true family of her own and was left to die like this. Natasha deserved better. 
> 
> So yeah, sorry for the huge meltdown but I felt I needed to do it. Anyhow, goodbye to the MCU.


End file.
